Have you ever been in a season you thought would never end? You begin to wonder if you heard the Lord correctly when He directed you to this situation, because nothing is changing. You are weary and feel like you can walk no further on this road. You wonder if you should exit the circumstances, but choose to hesitate, asking Him to direct you.
Recently, when I wondered if it was time for me to exit, He directed me to look at the past.
I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit to look at two devotional books I had previously read. They are both from the writings of Amy Carmichael. One is I Come Quietly to Meet You and the other is Edges of His Ways.
I let that nudge sit for a couple of weeks, because I was too busy for that. It would not leave me. The longer I waited, the more persistent that little push grew until I finally retrieved those books from their resting place and obeyed.
I Come Quietly to Meet You is a 40 day devotional with no specific dates or timeline. Edges of His Ways is a dated, year long devotional. It contains small snippets of Amy’s abundant thoughts about God, His Word and His never ending mercy and grace.
Whoa! Four days into rereading I Come Quitely, and I see the reason I was to return to this. My loving Father wanted to give his daughter rest, hope, strength, and joy. He wanted to show me that the season I have been in was not just about sacrificing my dreams and desires to care for a dearly loved grandchild. It was for me to see the necessary changes I needed to make, for my good and the good of those involved.
On that fourth day, I see I had actually written notes in the margins of these daily lessons. Not my typical practice. I usually keep my thoughts in a journal. Another surprise, my first note on April 4, 2022 was actually a prayer about a trial I was going through, the same one I am still in. The difference between then and now is the work He has done in me. The Lord wanted me to see where I was then, and where He has brought me. He wanted me to understand that he has been working and taking care of the situation, even though I could not see it. He wanted me to see how I had changed.
All this time, as I was crying out to him to fix others’ problems, he was about the business of fixing my heart issues.
Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
The heart is the reservoir, and change must begin there. If the reservoir is polluted, it does no good to fix the pipes and the valves. (Guzik)
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
But God! He really does lift us up! And He wants us to remember where we came from and what He has carried us through.
God wants us to mark these important times in our lives. He wants us to remember, so we can retell the stories to future generations, and so we will not forget His faithfulness.
Joshua 4:3, 6 [3] and command them, saying, ‘Take for yourselves twelve stones from here, out of the midst of the Jordan, from the place where the priests’ feet stood firm. You shall carry them over with you and leave them in the lodging place where you lodge tonight.’ ” [6] that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’
Returning to that devotional, I realized two things. I’ve been in this season a year and a half longer than I remember. The first year and a half I was focused on praying for the problem to change. Nothing changed until my prayers changed. I took my focus off the problem, directing my prayers to how I could be of service to the Lord’s Kingdom. I had to surrender it all to Him. That is when the Lord began to work, but he didn’t start with what I thought needed to be changed. He started with the changes He wanted me to make.
I am still living in the same circumstances. The difference is I see with fresh eyes and hear with fresh ears. I see all the places he has taken me were not about my circumstances, but for my healing. And I cannot do anything but praise Him, because He has walked with, talked with, and shown me more mercy than I deserved.
Now that my spirit is renewed, and my strength restored, I have my answer, No. I am not to exit these circumstances, I am to see them through for the Glory of God.
Isaiah 57:15 For thus says the High and Lofty One Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, With him who has a contrite and humble spirit, To revive the spirit of the humble, And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
Psalms 68:9 You, O God, sent a plentiful rain, Whereby You confirmed Your inheritance, When it was weary.
Father God sent me a “plentiful rain” in my time of need. He confirmed His love for me, showed me He had been with me every step of the journey, and renewed my strength. My spirit is revived and my heart is filled with gratitude.
Lord, I pray for all those who need “plentiful rain.” May they find You and be renewed in spirit and strength. Thank you for your mercy and grace in dealing with us. Thank you for holding us up with your mighty arms and hiding us in the shadow of your wings. Thank you for reminding us to remember ALL you have done for us.
Janice S.